Cora's Eulogy

A year ago today we held Cora's funeral service. When we met with our minister, he asked if we wanted to speak at the service. Neither of us were able. I don't think I could have made it through without crying; I don't think I could make it through now if I had to read this aloud.

Shortly after I found out I was pregnant, but before I had an ultrasound, I told Kelly that I thought I was pregnant with twins. I had no evidence, simply a gut feeling. When we went for the first ultrasound and the tech told us that we were expecting twins, we started laughing ~ at first because we could not believe it, and then more nervously when we realized we would have four children under four!

We found out the genders for Rory and Kyan by ultrasound, and I had asked Kelly if he would be okay not finding out for baby three. He agreed, and even when we found out we were having twins, we decided to wait until they were born to learn their genders. So ultrasound after ultrasound I said no to finding out the gender(s). Until one day when the ultrasound tech slipped up and suddenly I knew. I knew Baby A was a girl and Baby B was a boy, and I instantly knew that one of each was exactly what our family needed. And I also knew every single name on our "girl" list was not right (and that the one name on our boy list was exactly right).

After Kelly and I settled on Cora, we then went to work on her middle name. The boys all have middle names based on family names, and I wanted Cora to have the same. We chose Lily, which is the meaning of Suzanne. Cora Lily Murphy ~ girly, but not frilly; unique, but not bizarre; the perfect name for our daughter.

We had a great team with us the day Cora and Crosby were born. One of our nurses took tons of pictures for us as Cora, who was older by a minute, and Crosby, were delivered. The nurses brought Cora over and put her into Kelly's arms and I just stared and her, and then at Crosby. I couldn't take my eyes off of them. One of the nurses asked me to say something about how I was feeling for a video and I didn't even have words. It was perfect. My family was complete and I was the blessed mother of four beautiful children.

In a eulogy we remember and celebrate a person's life, often through stories that capture the person's personality. We don't have many stories, but I can tell you that Cora was sweet, but also feisty. She quickly learned that her cries brought mommy or daddy running to her. She was working very hard on focusing on the little animals on her bouncer. And somehow, she had already mastered having her older brothers dote on her endlessly while being near her younger brother could soothe her when nothing else seemed to work.

I have thought a great deal about what I hoped for in Cora's life. I have thought about all the wonders in life that she will never experience. But I have also thought a great deal about her short time with us and what she experienced during that time. The pure joy and love she felt when the nurse placed her in Kelly's arms for the first time. The blurry smile she saw on her grandma's face in the operating room. The wonder her big brothers had when seeing her for the first time. The ease we brought to each other when I held her in my arms. And this one thing I know ~ Cora experienced love. She was truly and deeply loved. She is still truly and deeply loved.