Ramblings

A long, rambling update since I want Kelli and Meg to practice their editing skills (Bob, you can feel free to get out your red pen too. Heck, anyone is welcome. Just don't tell me about it.):
Physically, I feel pretty good. I have been out of aggressive treatment for about 6 weeks now, and the more distance I get from treatment, the better I feel. I am swimming and slogging, wait, I mean jogging, again. My strength is not where it was at the beginning of the summer, but I am able to at least keep up with my "Lane 4" swimming friends.
I do have some side effects from the treatments - my fingers and toes tingle and/or go numb due to nerve damage and I have some ringing in my ears (so forgive me if I ask you to repeat yourself ~ especially in noisy areas!). But I really cannot complain ~ swimming and jogging feel odd with numb toes, but I am getting used it it.
Where things are at:
Liver tumors: scan in September showed that they are stable and there are no symptoms that indicate they are changing; each month I get a shot in the arse to control the symptoms and that med is also thought to, in some cases, help keep the tumors in check. I will get another scan in November to see how things are looking.
My hope is that at some point my oncologists will say that these tumors are not high grade, they are low grade. This type of low grade tumor is called carcinoid and it can stay stable for long-ish periods of time. My oncologists hint that it could be carcinoid, but I think my diagnosis has gone back and forth so many times, no one wants to jump the gun on revising it again without more data.
Cervical cancer: next Friday (10/26) I will have my cervical biopsy. Once those results are in there are three options (a) no cancer cells (woo hoo!) (b) cancer cells, hysterectomy required (c) cancer cells, but we can take a watch and wait approach. I am eager to get this done and hopefully hear that (a) is the outcome. I would love to have this "off the plate."
[An amusing side story: My very, very serious surgeon and I were discussing my biopsy date and he referred to my "hot pelvis." I had to laugh at that term ~ radioactively hot or otherwise, it amused the seventh grader in me.]
Oh, and I did not have a hysterectomy in the beginning because the cancer was too widespread. They would not have been able to get clear margins and oncologists like to avoid combining radiation and surgery due to the potential complications. 
Emotionally, this has been a painful time. The time from the day Cora was born until the day she died is feeling like a very slow crawl. A year ago our daughter was with us. This coming Saturday night was the night we raced to the ER with her; the date was the 22nd, but for me, I am dreading this Saturday, the third Saturday in October. I keep thinking I just need to make it from then until the 28th, the day of her funeral.