On Friday I head back to the hospital for another attempt at the internal radiation that is needed to obliterate the cervical cancer. After the last attempt, my anxiety for Friday is pretty much through the roof. I am hopeful the pain will be manageable, but also very aware that I may end up exactly where I was two weeks ago.
I am disappointed because between chemotherapy on Thursday and my surgery on Friday it is highly unlikely that I will be able to do my swim up in Mirror Lake on Saturday. The chemo usually hits me hardest after two days, and toss in the anesthesia from Friday, and it is highly unlikely I will be in any shape to do an open water swim. Not swimming is disappointing, but equally disappointing is not heading up with the folks I usually swim with and also missing the opportunity to swim with and see one of my undergraduate classmates whom I haven't seen since graduation (yikes!).
5 comments:
...if it helps, I'm in no shape for an open water swim either. This is due entirely to my laziness, which now, makes me feel like an ungrateful ass. A lazy, ungrateful, drowning, ass.
I say go anyway. Taunt them from the edge of the lake...occasionally yell "water moccasin!!"...I *guarantee* it will make you feel better.
I think I speak for all of TEAM SMAC when I say that you'll be there, whether you're physically able to make it there or not. Same goes for the run next month.
Wishing you the best of luck and as little pain as possible during chemo today and surgery on Friday. :-)
OBLITERATE!!! Fingers, Eyes and Toes crossed once again for a better experience tomorrow.
Hoping for a "no pain" update from you!!!
Think healing. Think about defeating all of this. YOU can do it! Don't let any diagnosis dictate your life's direction. You will live a long healthy life if you don't give in to what you're "told". I believe in an amazing and miracle working God. Believe that miracles still do happen. You are strong. BELIEVE.
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