Friday I went to St. Peter's Hospital (not my 'usual' hospital) to attempt the internal radiation treatment again (this is the one that caused such severe pain the last time). It was painful, but I made it through. The doctors used a regional block and morphine which took the edge off. I still cried, but at least I could get through it.
For a fleeting moment (I think it was the morphine) - I thought I would be able to go do my swim on Saturday, but no such luck. I started having pain Friday night that increased through the day on Saturday and into Sunday morning. I ended up in the ER needing to have the sleeve (part of the internal radiation device) removed because it was causing so much pain. My ER doc came in and said, "I have never even seen one before. I am not sure how to remove it." My response: "It looks like a golf tee. Just pull it out."
That was a really dumb thing for me to say. In the end Chris, one of my local radiation oncologists (and I should note, the one who always gets me at my worst times...), came in to remove it.
So then Monday I was scheduled for another internal radiation treatment at St. Peter's. This time my mom came with me because Kelly has this job thing...
Duncan (St. Peter's radiation oncologist) agreed that no part of the device would be left in this time and also planned to use a slightly different pain control plan.
You probably already know this isn't going to go well, eh?
The docs use anesthesia to put the device in, but it is short lasting. Most patients can then handle the pain with some meds. Something about me makes that not the case - maybe it is my anatomy or some of the side effects from the treatments I have already received, but it causes pain in the 8-9 range on the 0-10 scale for me.
So I woke up in severe pain which lasted almost the full time (about 2 hours). My poor mom - I had her tracking the time as I muttered under my breath "just xx minutes longer" and then asked her just to talk...anything to help distract me because that deep breathing stuff was so not working.
But, I made it through another one. Two down, three to go. On Thursday Duncan has a new pain control plan to try. I am optimistic that it will work, but even if it doesn't this treatment has to get done and after making it through Monday, I know I can do it again. It just may not be very pretty or pleasant.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
8 comments:
Listen, Thursday is my daycare day. If you need someone to go with you, I am free. I am highly entertaining. I am slightly less-lovable than Kelly, but I make up for it in pure, unadulterated sarcasm. Also...I can make a pretty mean rooster out of plastic gloves...
Tears are in my eyes as I read the pain that you have to endure right now. There is nothing that I can say or do to make it a better experience for you (although I want to) So please know how many thoughts and prayers go out as you complete this round. We are always here for you, just by chance you do need us, even if it is just to bring over some soup for you, the hubby, the kids or your fantastic parents. =)
Keep on going ! You are almost finished with this treatment!
You are SO STRONG!
As always State Farm is here for whatever you may need!
Your comment about telling the doctor to just pull out the "golf tee" reminded me of when I was in labor with my son and couldn't have cared less that the epidural dude kept missing the right spot in my spine. My husband was ready to punch the guy, but I was like, "please leave him alone. I don't care if I never walk again if he can just make this pain stop."
Not my most lucid moment. Pain makes us less smart.
Pleasant would be great. No one cares about pretty. I'm glad you know you can do this. I only wish you'd be able to stop discovering things you can do, but should never have to. Love to you and to your mom - she's clearly as strong as you are.
Geeze, can't they sedate you like the dentist does for a root canal or something? I can't imagine how awful this is - worse than a prolonged PAP by an intern? Ugh. Hopefully they figure out how to make this more tolerable, and FAST. In the meantime, maybe a voodoo doll with pins...
In addition to Jennifer's idea (which essentially ends with you walking into the hospital with a dozen nitrous balloons), I think "Duncan" is inspiring. As in Duncan Heinz...the brownie...the *special* brownies...
"This thing we call failure is not the falling down, but staying down."
(I forget who said it)
Your refusal to stay down is jaw-droppingly inspiring. Really.
Amazed, in awe of, and so proud of you. XOXOXOXO
Post a Comment