Driving at Night

There are a few memoir-style writers that I really enjoy, even though our lives share only thin threads of similarity. One of them is Annie Lamott, who is currently on tour promoting her latest book. Because of this (HA!, no So...) she is doing all sorts of press, which means all sorts of additional nuggets I get to read.

This week she did an interview with the New York Times and was asked about the best parenting advice she ever received. Her response was:
"I think the single best line of advice I ever heard on being a parent, a writer, a seeker, an anything, is something the great E. L. Doctorow said years and years ago, that writing is like driving at night with the headlights on: you can only see a little ways in front of you but you can make the whole journey this way. This may not be verbatim, but for me it has rung true in every area of my life."

When I was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer, one of the first things I did was started stalking the cancer center therapist with phone calls. Desperate calls...he had to call me back because I had no idea how I was going to address this with my children (not to mention myself). He is the one that helped me realize that this is one step at a time. First explain the port (which they are so over now), then explain the hair, and then explain whatever comes next, when it comes.

I am trying to following this advice for myself as well. It takes just about every bit of willpower not to ask Dr. S "What about after that?," each time we talk about the next step, or how things will progress. I know that he cannot answer that question, but I really, really like plans. I even like to have a Plan B in case the Plan A doesn't work out. I have a treatment plan, but the long-term plan...the way this will all play out...I don't have, and I can't have. I need to learn that my life is like driving at night with only the headlights on. (But, maybe I could at least have some high beams?)