Putting Things Away

On January 2, Kelly and I went shopping for a chest. We wanted something to store Cora's "things" in, and I deemed a plastic tote in the basement unacceptable (as did Kelly). So we ordered a beautiful chest where we could put her things.

I had piles of things that remind me of Cora around the house. For months I had a box in the dining room of all of the cards and letters we received after she passed away. In our bedroom alcove I had a bag with the guest book, prayer cards, a memory candle, and other things from her calling hours and funeral. Under a guest bed I had a box of clothing that she would never wear. In the nursery closet I had a basket of blankets, sweaters, and hats that people had made for her.

At the end of February we got a call that the chest we ordered had been discontinued and it would not be arriving. In early March I ordered a different one that was back ordered for 2 weeks, then 4 weeks, then 6 weeks. It finally arrived last week. It was placed in our bedroom and I did nothing. I didn't clean it out. I didn't gather her things. It just sat there for a week.

This afternoon I decided it was time. I did okay as I put the box of cards and items that were never "hers" away, but then I came to the onsie she was wearing when she died. It was so little. Then I came to the shirt I had on at the hospital and one of her onsies that had not been washed. I had to just sit for a while, to catch my breath, to remember that it has not yet been 6 months, but it feels like so much longer.