Saturday, March 17, 2012

Hypervigilance

Poor Crosby. He is going to be sleeping in our room until he is 18.

 Even before we knew that Cora's death would be classified as SIDS, I was on the phone with our pediatrician. WHAT. ABOUT. CROSBY?!?! Thankfully, the nurse who answered my call was Mrs. Lockwood, a longtime family friend. She arranged for me to bring him into see Dr. Wright. Of course, what I didn't think about at the time, was that the doctors were already pouring over the records they had to see if there was any warning signs ~ anything that could tell us what happened to her, and if Crosby was at risk. Dr. Wright examined Crosby and had me bring him for an echo cardiogram to check for a specific issue, and thankfully Crosby got a clean bill of health.

But the terrifying thing is, in cases like Cora's, where her death is classified as a SIDS death, but the "usual culprits" are not in play, researchers think it may be related to an unknown defect. Because it is unknown, they don't know if it is genetic or from something the baby was exposed to in the womb.

Professionals call it hypervigilance ~ I call it sanity. I think I put my hand on his chest 20 times a day while he is sleeping. Kelly sleeps closer to him than I do, so I wake Kelly in the middle of the night to check on Crosby if I don't hear him. (He is a loud sleeper for being a baby!) But I am finally starting to relax a little more around Crosby. We hired a babysitter for the first time since October last weekend and I didn't worry at all about him (in large part because our babysitter was fantastic). And I am simply able to enjoy him, and all his smiley, happy sweetness, more and more each day.

3 comments:

KelliGirl said...

He is so darn cute, that little Rory, Junior. No worries...he will be protesting his sleeping arrangements long before 18.

crichichi said...

Suzanne the fact you refer to behavior like this as 'sanity' makes me feel better about myself ;). I agree with Kelli, I'm sure before 18 Crosby will be demanding new sleeping arrangements ;). And if you ever need another 'sane' mom around to watch him I'll be here in a few months!!

Xoxo
Courtney

Beth said...

Something tells me that's pretty normal behavior for a mom whose been through what you have, but I'm so glad to hear that the nerves are subsiding a little. Personally, I think I'd be the same way if I had a child - whether anything bad had ever happened to me or not!