When I was hugely pregnant with Rory, Kelly had his tonsils out. When I was hugely pregnant with Kyan, Kelly had is gallbladder out. When I became pregnant with the twins, we joked about which organ Kelly would be "donating." Well, he made it through my pregnancy, but his body knew...so today, a little over 5 months after the twins were born, Kelly "donated" his appendix after ending up in the ER last night. (He is a little groggy, but feeling better overall.)
Today a very new friend, Jamie, who is the wife of an old high school friend, was part of a true organ donation. She gave one of her kidneys to her mom. I could use words like courageous, brave, rooted, devoted to describe her, but I think her action alone tells you a great deal about her. Please keep Jamie, her mom, and her family in your thoughts and prayers.
Perhaps it was waiting in the hospital combined with the types of surgeries, but today I thought a great deal about one part of Cora's PICU time. When we learned that Cora would not survive, one of her nurses asked us (though I cannot even remember how she approached the topic) if we wanted to talk to someone about organ donation. We readily agreed, hoping such an act would provide a tiny glimmer of light. But then, as the organ donation team spoke with us the realization hit - Cora would die in a cold OR, without us, surrounded by strangers. I couldn't stand the thought of it. I still can't.
It was a selfish act, I wanted to be with her at the end. I wanted her in our arms. I keep thinking, someday I will feel guilty about that choice, but I don't.
6 comments:
Don't ever feel guilty about your decision, Suzanne! No one has the right to judge a parent on how they handle the death of a child. It was an act of love not selfishness. I'm so glad you held sweet Cora in your arms.
There is no need for guilt at all. Cora left this world as she entered it - warm, safe, and so very loved. If only we all could say that...
The only people who know the right thing to do in that situation is the immediate family. And the only way to determine what's right is to decide what makes you feel best at that very moment. We made the decision for my dad - some people benefited greatly. For that, I am glad. But, a grade school friend of ours who we designated his kidney for passed away days after transplant due to a pre-existing infection after a very successful surgery. Her doctors knew about the infection and thought the benefits outweighed the risks... My point is, you can have regrets either way. You just get through it in the best way you know how.
Following your heart is never the wrong choice. It was a hard choice but not the wrong one.
So glad organ donator Kelly is doing ok...prayers are with you all as usual.
So now I am worring about the robot words...hope I can do it...like soduku to me...do you think I am a robot?
In your arms is where she needed to be xoxo
no guilt no regrets i love you suzanne murphy
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